How To Be A Better, More Present Father (& Not Get DAD-BOD!) with John Schott

Ben Greenfield 0:00

My name is Ben Greenfield, and on this episode of The Boundless life podcast, you have

Ben Greenfield 0:04

to take care of everybody else but the dad. If you have boys as a man, you have to consider so many different aspects of raising conscious men that are not only just like healthy and robust, but also service minded. Have a purpose, have a deep passion for humanity and things like that, to become a next level person and next level dad.

Ben Greenfield 0:25

Welcome to the boundless life with me. Your host, Ben Greenfield, I'm a personal trainer, exercise physiologist and nutritionist, and I'm passionate about helping you discover unparalleled levels of health, fitness, longevity and beyond you.

Ben Greenfield 0:46

All right, so funny story about today's podcast guest. I met him after I did the Miami triathlon. He was just a local connection, met me at the finish line and had literally, like, cooked for me and my family and one of my buddies who did the race with me, this, like, luxurious, kind of, like paleo meal that we sat down at the beach park in Miami and ate together. He was there with this whole beautiful family, a bunch of little kids running around. It was an incredible meal. And then he proceeded to give me one of the most unique bodywork sessions I've ever gotten, using a walker with, like, tennis balls on it, I think, or call properly, to just like, use his body weight to go up and down my body for deep tissue massage. And he later found himself on the podcast. However, it's been like a solid, I'd say, seven or eight years since I last spoke to the great John Shah, John, welcome back.

John Schott 1:48

Man, Hey, Ben. Man, it's great to see you. And yeah, I remember that day like if it was yesterday, for sure, it was fun. It was fun. I also remember it.

Ben Greenfield 1:57

But I'm sure you you using a walker, literally, for those of you listening, like an old person's walk. Old person's Walker, to go up and down my body probably cemented it in my memory

John Schott 2:07

a little bit also, yeah, I figured that would do that. And by the way, that's, that's what I get my older kids to use on me now these days, because I don't have anybody like me around here to work on me the way I work on people. So it's, it's still, it's still a tool I use, for sure, it's it's powerful.

Ben Greenfield 2:22

I have been known to pay my sons $1 a minute to use the Thera body massage gun when I just, like, don't have time, tire massage therapist for my guys, 15 minutes, we'll make 15 bucks that'll lay down, go to work, and it works. The kids like it. It's just like doing construction on a before we dive into why. I really wanted to get you on the podcast today to talk about way more than just triathlons and bodywork, and that would be the topic of fatherhood. People are probably wondering, what the heck with the walker dude? Give people the overview that. Well, it's

John Schott 3:00

funny, because usually when I say Walker, the first thing that comes to mind is that I'm actually using the Walker on the person digging into them. And then that's not necessarily how it's used. The Walker is placed in between somebody who's either on a Thai Yoga mat or on the beach. In your case, that time that we were in South Beach as a form of me holding myself up to use leverage to work with my feet. So what I'm doing is basically digging with my heels and the ball my feet and so forth, and the Walker is there so that I could use that leverage to not obviously topple over, and therefore I can manipulate my weight and use that as part of the bodywork technique, as I'm digging in with my feet through calves, hamstrings, glutes, the whole nine.

Ben Greenfield 3:47

Well, it works. I don't know if you remember when I was visiting my aunt down in Fort Lauderdale, you, I think, came over to her condominium complex and worked on me for a couple hours with the walker.

John Schott 3:58

It's incredible. Yeah, we use two. We use a combination of the walker, and then I got you on the table to use more trigger point for, you know, almost like, like, a non surgical surgery to use, yeah, I use my hands, like something like that. So either way,

Ben Greenfield 4:13

surgery without anesthesia, you guys, John has, like, the big, meaty, like muscular hands that everybody looks for in a massage therapist, but has a love, hate relationship with and in our last podcast, I mean, we have so much to talk about when it comes to family and fatherhood. Today, we won't take a deep dive into this stuff, but John really got deep into light spectrum therapy, photobiomodulation, red light, water quality, minerals, frequencies of certain things we consume. So he is a real icon in the space when it comes to kind of like primal living. But you know, I mentioned John that you had a bunch of little kids running. On when you're working on me in the park. You're a dad. You have been one for a while, so you pinged me about a month ago and showed me this new project that you've been working on. So catch me up to speed.

John Schott 5:11

Okay, so at the time when we met that back then, there was only two kids. Now there's four. So we got two extra kids. And the reason, the reason I pinged you on it is because, I mean, I call it the conscious dad protocol, and that's exactly what lights me up right now. You know, you as a father, you see the trials, tribulations and all the things that we handle as men who have to not only provide for your family, but lead with example by, you know, without good quality example, if you have boys as a man, you have to, you know, consider so many different aspects of raising conscious men that are not only just like healthy and robust, but also service purpose. Service minded have a purpose. Have a deep passion for humanity and things like that. So you can be, you know, an excellent, an excellent member of society. I also saw so much in the wellness, wellness sphere about neglect when it comes to fathers, like nobody really addresses what the father goes through. And most men's program are more either two kinds, one, that's the Ultra, very, what I would say, say somewhat toxic masculinity type. Go get the girls, you know, work out, get the money, the cars, this and that. And that has its own demographic. And whatever it is, what it is. And then there's one where it's like, you go off into retreats with other men. You're holding hands, you're doing all these different things, talking about your feelings, and so forth and so on. And I think both have their place and all that, but none of them resonate with me. Like, if I had

Ben Greenfield 6:47

to choose, I lean a little bit more towards what you might describe as like the toxic masculinity edge, where I'd rather be off, like crawling under barbed wire and climbing mountains with a rucksack and jumping in, you know, cold lakes and doing doing hardcore shit with other dudes, versus kumbaya by the campfire. But you're right that the former seems to neglect a lot of the things that help a man to grow as a father, as a husband, as a leader, or even to grow spiritually. And so I interrupted you, but I think you were kind of presenting what the middle path might be,

John Schott 7:29

yeah, yeah. And one that that hardly ever gets addressed a lot of people. You know, one of the things that inspires me to do this is not only the fact that I have to hold myself accountable and I have to strive to be the best self I can be. I built a lifestyle for myself that embodies health, wellness, robust, living and so forth. But there's also challenges that come along the way when it comes to how do you handle situations where your kids are becoming teenagers? How do you handle situations where you have one teenager, the other one's eight years old, and then how do they go out into a world where, usually they don't necessarily face the same, the same value system and in in realities of what it is to live within the I don't want to say a bubble, but sort of a bubble that we've created as a family because of the the values and high standards that We aim to live to and never, it's never perfect. There's always challenges. But I see that, you know, the dad often gets kind of like, okay, you're supposed to make the money, and you're supposed to, you know, take care of your family and, you know, do everything hard and all that stuff, and we have to take care of everybody else but the dad. And, you know, I had my moments where, you know, I was. I remember a moment in Miami, and I was driving in the middle traffic, heavy traffic. I was just burning the candles at both ends, going crazy, doing everything I can, never being enough. And I saw my daughter's face without seeing my daughter, and she had this deep sadness about it. And I was like, Where is this coming from? And I had to pull over, because it was like one of those things where it just built and built and built and built and built and built. And it's like a pressure cooker, right? And it was going and going and going. And I had to pull over, and I let the biggest inside the car, the biggest primal scream, you know, that that you could hear, and just full on scream. And then followed by deep, deep tears, like I was crying. I don't know what the heck was happening now, with all the bodywork and fascia work and all that stuff that I've studied and developed and all that stuff, I know exactly what was happening. But at that moment, you know, I saw my daughter's face, and I realized that this is not, this is not the way and I'm building. I'm building I'm taking care of taking care of taking care of taking care. And there's no moment where you're either taking care of yourself or having some form of healthy support system around everything that we take on as men, as fathers, as the head of families, and if somebody wants to be serviced to the community, which is very important to me as well. So I want

Ben Greenfield 9:58

to hear more about how you. Take care of your family in that respect, as a what you call a conscious dad, but kind of begs the question, like, what does a father do when they feel like that, when they feel the overwhelm and feel as though maybe they don't have support?

John Schott 10:17

That's, I mean, I would say that's part of the reason why I'm bringing this to the forefront, because I don't know about you, you might have more friends than I do and support and things like that you probably do because you have a vast network of the people you've developed throughout your career. But most men, I've realized, especially guys who are on my table too, that I work on don't find themselves, that they don't really have them anywhere to turn to. And I liken this to the fact that, you know, in ancestral, you know, ancestral cultures and and systems that did exist before modern times. There used to be a lineage of elders, and there used to be men who passed on some kind of either wisdom or passed on some kind of education, experiences and so forth and so on down the line of other men and their sons and so forth. Now I don't know about you, but my father didn't supply any of that. And as I talk to more of my clients and more people around my age and around the same age, there hasn't been any of that for for a lot of us guys growing up where I had to learn how to drive from a friend of mine and shave on my own. And these are just minor examples, but they built up so that system of like having having that lineage handed down, somewhat disappeared throughout the last decades or so. And my attempt is to try to help other people, other men, gain that for themselves, but also offer a network of support for that. Because it is lacking. It is missing and and as a guy who's like depleted and going through it, you know, it's like they're running on poor sleep, processed food, no recovery. I mean, that's not, that's not a character flaw, that's that's like a physiological state. So part of that is taking care of yourself. So what is taking care of yourself? Look for more most modern dads, well, they're like a wife nagging. You have to eat better, you have to exercise. You have to do this while they're telling them other things. And there's no there's no direction there, there's no blueprint there, there's confusion, there's there's maybe, maybe a website or something you can go into, but it doesn't really like offer true and deep help when it comes to that. So I think those are things that are missing, and I'm trying to do my best. I'm not saying I'm the world's expert, and, you know, have everything together and perfect and all that stuff, because that doesn't exist. And that's fun. That's That's part of the journey, which, which lightens me up too, because it makes me better, and it tells me, Oh, you got to come up with these guys and everybody else to become a next level person, and next level dad, yeah,

Ben Greenfield 13:01

that resonates my dad, very similar, probably similar to his dad. Didn't really do a lot of, like, conscience parenting in the way that you're describing, you know, I also had to, you know, teach myself how to shave. I'm gonna drive from a driving instructor. Fortunately, learned a lot myself. I don't think my dad was a bad father. He just never had, like, really conscious parenting modeled for him, and so he never really applied that much to me. And then I kind of got lucky in that through the podcast and interviewing guys like you probably like, you know, three or four times a year for the past 19 years, I've had some kind of like, Father or mentor or person who specializes in rites of passage or community or personal growth, you know, especially for males on my podcast, and I've taken notes and applied and applied a lot of that into our family and the Greenfield family constitution, everything from our rites of passage to our morning comings and goings to our evening family dinners to how we challenge ourselves, to how we care for ourselves, to how I care for myself. And then I think I also got a little lucky in that I've got a really good church in my local community that also provides a lot of support, a lot of opportunities for men, a lot of growth and camaraderie, and then you combine that with, you know, little bit of hunting here and there, and, you know, the workouts and fitness community. But I realize that kind of existence can be an anomaly for a lot of guys, but doesn't have to be. So I know that as a part of of this program that you've put together online, you're kind of creating that community, and also like the education for guys over a few weeks to learn how to tackle all of this, but I kind of want to throw some practical questions. At you if you're game, just things that I've heard that guys struggle with, or that I've struggled with myself. So one would be the dad who's at work during the day and comes home and just feels like depleted, tired, exhausted, knows that he needs to show up for his family when he walks in the front door, but really feels as though he doesn't have a whole lot of energy left to give. What do you say to a guy like that? It's about

John Schott 15:30

building a system around the lifestyle that you're living. So if you're in an office, you know, most of the day, what is it that depletes you? Right? A lot of times it's electromagnetic frequencies that are just draining your battery. So on that level, you know, I would say there's different ways to mitigate that, different ways to to recharge your battery with very little input. So if you're taking a lunch break, and I know you probably said this on your podcast, you've had many people, but it bears repeating, you're taking your lunch break, go outside. Take it outside. Get some sun, put your feet on the ground and discharge some of that, you know, electromagnetic frequencies that are just building and building and building and depleting your battery. So that's one way. How do you start the day? How do you start the day? Well, let's go back to the battery. The way I start my day is by taking what's called a Soleil solution. And these are all systems that you can put in place, that you set it and forget them, but they're just a part of your lifestyle. So this ole solution is basically a really high quality sea salt, Icelandic salt that I make a concentrate out of which basically gobbles up a pristine form of water, and then I take one or two teaspoons of that and take a shot of water first thing in the morning, and that's putting electrolytes back in. It's charging your battery through the water, and that's one of the first ways you start your hydration process. And then as far as, as far as one of the main things that I do, speaking about the walker and all that, it's, it's, I found the bodywork, deep, deep body work, myofascial release and things like that, are essential to keep the human body limb not only just just supple and flexible and limber and strong, but it keeps it open to be able to have lymph blood flow, oxygenation and everything flow in the proper way. So if you're in an office, you have to figure out a way of modifying the chair the height of your monitor when you step out. Can you take off your shoes and put and, you know, take a call like you're doing, standing up and maybe pacing, stepping on a lacrosse ball, things like that. So now your strategy is a bit different, because if you if you start your data that way, and you calibrate your circadian rhythms with even a little bit of morning sun, you ground you eat your lunch and get vitamin D in the middle of the day, you have the chair lined up so that your posture is is better than it can be because you're sitting all day and so forth and so on. By the time you're done, I think it's, it's a night and day, a different experience. So when you get you leave, you come home, you're you're still charged, you're still hydrated, your body is still in a state where it could just go from office mode to, let's say go do something like what I do sometimes with my kids and my wife is go play pickleball. So you're not going from zero to 100 and you're getting that like snap when you know, if you have a rope and you snap it, that's kind of what the body does, in a way, on the on the fascia level. So you want to prime your body to never have to have that rope go and snap, or create some of those trigger points and things like that. So that's one of the ways that I would approach it. Obviously, there's more things. There's emotional elements to that, there's stress levels. Are you happy doing what you're doing? And so forth and so on. And that's, I think, part of the discovery when it comes to more of the not so much the lessons or the education, because a lot of this stuff is very easy to get and very easy to set up with somebody who's experienced and can lead you and shortcut the time period, but also just having that support again, you know, having a group of guys who are like minded, who want to excel, want to lead, and all this stuff, and now we're there for each other. We can, you know, be like, Okay, what's going on with you? What's going on with you? Okay, how do we solve this? How do we, you know, and, you know, not fix it, but improve it. And what are the challenges, and how can we overcome them? Yeah, I

Ben Greenfield 19:03

think a lot of guys don't tie the biological to the psychological, using some of the stuff that you've just described, right, treating the body like a battery, charging it by being outside, getting sunlight, water, minerals, etc, which seems like to some guys, it might just seem like, woo, woo, hippie, too primal, but it does add up big time. I think when you look at things, I guess, to totally stereotype guys More than girls struggle with like anger, impatience, even even just like acting without thinking, in many cases, being very, very physically minded, instead of taking an emotional or mental check first, a lot of that can arise from poor biological patterns related to some of the stuff that you just described. I mean, for me personally, even though I have a home office, lot of times I am on a road trip, I'm getting dropped up at the house. By an Uber after having flown somewhere, I have been out running errands like a madman. And getting home, one of my strategies is I pull into the driveway, I go around to the side of the garage, and I have this one exercise I do where I bring both arms overhead and touch right knee, left elbow, left knee, right elbow. And I'll do that like 30 times, and then shake, like, where you take a deep breath in and just shake the whole body about five times. Usually I'll drop and do 10 to 20 push ups, kind of like a few torso twists. And then if I really feel as though I need, like, positive self talk, I realize this stuff sounds crazy, like I'm going to a Tony Robbins conference before I walk in the front door, but I'll just say something like, Ben, you got this? Or All right, here we go, or time for a good time. And then when I open the door, it's just that there's everything I just described literally is like two to three minutes, night and day, difference between opening the car door, walking to the front door and opening the front door Absolutely.

John Schott 21:05

I love it. I love it. The shaking part is, big animals do that naturally. You know, a lot of times I get and then, and then there's the factor of pain, right? If you're in pain, you're not happy, so it crosses over to your mood. It's crosses over how you interact with with other people, especially even your own kids and your own wife. So all those elements that you just described, and everything that I described about mild, faster releases and having some of these minor technique, it doesn't really take a lot make a big difference on how you feel. And you know that back pain usually goes away when you know what you're doing, knee pain, all these things now. And one thing that stood out with what you said right before you open the door, it goes hand in hand with, with with what I experienced. I treat I treat my family with love, with respect, with kindness. I like being around them. I like being around my kids and on so forth. And that's part of what I've designed for our family. So I know nine times out of 10. I would say nine, 9.5 times out of 10. I know that when I open that door, from coming from a client, from coming from a long day, whatever it is, because I know that I'm going to be received by one of these kids with excitement, with with screams, with I missed you, with sometimes they jump on me even, even though the ones that are big, they come running to the door. He's home. You know, we miss you. That changes your physiology, just like that. It's not, yeah, it's not, it's nothing like, oh, you know, it's, it's, it's too much sensitivity and all that. It's just like, touch. It's human, that it's, it's part of our

Ben Greenfield 22:36

design, yeah, and having the attitude that that is what's happening when you walk in the front door, and that it's not just another era of extreme responsibility and tasks and chores to do. I think part of it is the attitude that you walk in with, which was why I think some of those physical practices, you know, Motion creates emotion before you walk in, can be make a difference. How about like, presence. You know how you have things on your mind from work, emails, Slack, messages, something didn't go ride a fire that you still need to put out the next day, and then you're at home and you're with your family, maybe at dinner, maybe just chatting in the evening, and you're kind of there, but your mind is a million miles away. What do you say to a dad who struggles with that presence factor?

John Schott 23:27

I mean, not to, not to beat the dead horse with with the whole physical aspect of it, but changing your physical aspect and your state leads you to become more in control of being present. Besides that, it's setting up systems. Setting up systems. Every every person is different. Every person has a different style of the way they're living. It's hard for me to relate sometimes to a nine to five job. I've never had one, you know, I've been a solo entrepreneur, you know, yeah. So it's, it's hard for that, but, but there are systems in place that you can set for that. And there's rules. I mean, there's rules that you did, that you decide for yourself. So going back to a family meal, I mean, that's a part. That's a part of the whole protocol that I'd like to introduce. It's like we're creating a food, a food culture within the family. And what does that look like? It's not just healthy foods? Yes, of course, healthy foods is the part. How do you stock your kitchen? You have bone broth? Do you have grass fed? Butter? Do you have fruits, vegetables, high quality proteins? That's the easy part, I think. But how do we build these meals, and what is the culture around around the building of these, these meals, and you have to set some rules where for yourself and for your family is like, Hey, this is a non negotiable. We eat dinner at least, minimum, 234, times a week where everybody's there,

Ben Greenfield 24:49

quick interruption. I'll throw in here like that does mean that I never just realized this through experience. As much as it would be nice for family dinners to be at the same time every night. I. We find that, depending on the sports season, you just have to map it out. Like, for us, we always have a morning family huddle, and it lets us do that. So at 7am we could be like, Okay, it's your rugby, you're lacrosse. Mom's getting home at this time. How's everybody feel about like, you know, usually it's like, seven for dinner, but a lot of times, let's be like, All right, we're having a late dinner, 815 or we're eating on the road, 645 but I think some people might have the perception of the perfect family has like the perfect schedule, day in, day out. But as much as consistent meal times and consistent bedtimes are good for circadian rhythmicity, I think being together as a family trumps all of that.

John Schott 25:41

I 100% agree with that. I 100% agree with that. I can relate to a sports season. I got one that has basketball, the other one has volleyball, the other one has dance. I mean, remember, I have four kids now, so there's a lot of moving parts to this. And thankfully and grateful, I'm very grateful for my partner, my wife is extremely well organized. And the thing is, is like, we share a deep value system. This was established early on. You know, she's aligned with the values that that, that we both share, as far as good nutrition, good water, circadian rhythms, I mean, all this stuff. She's a mental health practitioner, and she approaches her practice way different than most psychologists do so things like that. I mean, that makes a big difference. And you know, the program is not just for established dads. Part of what I wanted to also share is that if you're a young guy who's thinking of a family, a young guy who knows wants kids, there are certain things that you can do to set that up so that the trajectory of that when you get to that place is night and day, a big difference, and that's part of it.

Ben Greenfield 26:49

You mean, like, like, icing your balls in the sauna, in the sauna, you can, I guess. I guess I'm talking more about a guy who's just thinking about, like, optimizing fertility, yes, the way that you build character leading into forming a family. What would be an example of that?

John Schott 27:08

Well, not only that, but yes, definitely a building character. And there's many, there's many layers to that. I'll give you an example from my life. Again, going back to fatherhood, I hardly had one, and if I tell my sons all the time, listen, if I was to go back in time, what would I want from my father? It would be direction example and telling me, hey, when you're young, focus on establishing your financial system before you have kids. I would have loved somebody to guide me to that, because I did not have that set up while I was growing, while I was in it, and then a few years later, boom, here comes the first kid. And I'm not financially ready for that. So it becomes, it becomes a snowball, right? So if you're a young guy who's thinking of all these things, make sure your finances are set up, or you set yourself up for the biggest level of success for that, not only that, but like, there's always, I wouldn't say there's a price to pay, but our choices have profound outcomes. I made a choice that I wanted to be there for my kids when they were little. So my my businesses, I wouldn't say suffered, but were not as optimized as they could have been, simply because I didn't want to miss anything. So we made that decision. So it's been, it's been a slower climb towards that kind of level of success, little by little by little. But I don't regret that, because I didn't miss anything when these kids were like tiny kids, and those memories are priceless.

Ben Greenfield 28:43

You're speaking my language. I sold all of my equipment, got rid of all my personal training clients and gyms when my sons were born, and literally moved into a tiny home office so that I could redesign lifestyle to do that, and it was a little scary, because, like, I wasn't getting a paycheck, I wasn't reliant upon the rest of the gym team to get clients in the front door. I didn't have a personal trainer office. I literally had a blank screen on the computer when I woke up, and that was where I was supposed to make my living. I also made the decision not to move to LA or Miami or New York City or another place where I could do like the six plus figure personal trainer thing, because I wanted to be in a really safe and supportive environment for my family, close to extended family, so I built my business much more slowly than a lot of my peers, and also put myself in an environment where there are fewer opportunities. But, you know, typical day for me, you know, I'm I'm with my family. Every morning, I'm working really hard, from like 10am until about 2pm I'm meditating or taking a quick nap. I'm back up. I'm working really hard from about 330 to. To 6pm and then 90% of the time from 6pm on and before 10am I'm with my family, and it's incredible, and it means I've left some growth on the table. But even something like having a morning family huddle at 7am and an evening family dinner at 7pm ish creates bookends on my day where I can't be working at 7am and I can't be working at 7pm so I have to be like, up early, done with some random tasks by 7am and then with the family. And then same thing, like, I I'm not like, in the office at seven, 715 730 until I'm just done. Like, I have to be done at 7pm and again, I think a lot of guys have yet to realize but, but it's such a blessing to be able to realize the the happiness and fulfillment that comes when you put family first. I personally, as a man of faith, would say family and faith first before business. And it's so paradoxical, right? Because you're supposed to be the provider and send home the paycheck. But, man, if you, if you sacrifice family time to do that, it's just, it's a night and day difference. I agree.

John Schott 31:11

I agree, and I relate 100% with that. My days tend to be somewhat similar to yours in in, you know, in a way, they're somewhat structured similar, I have a bit more variability than you do, simply because of the nature. You know, I have the flexibility of setting up appointments with clients, and in my appointments, thankfully, I'm extremely grateful that my clients are pretty awesome clients. They understand my situation, and they, they, you know, they let me have a certain amount of flexibility when I see them and when I don't. And, hey, can we move this around and this and that? Because all that moving around is it goes with putting my family first, and then everything after that. And it works out. I mean, it somehow. It works out. It's not easy, and there's a lot of friction, you know, there's a lot of moving parts. But honestly, man, I wouldn't, I wouldn't do in any other way, the fulfillment I get from all the things that I've that, that I've built for my family and and for the people around me who I get to interact with is is, like I said before, priceless. And that's one, that's one of the things I want to share with people, whoever wants to find their way to that. You know, I'm here, hey, I want to, I want to provide support for that. I want this to be something that grows and grows and grows so that we, we together, fulfill something that's missing in our society today, which is, which is, which is, which is a strong family nucleus. I mean, we see we see what the world's going through right now. We see a lot of the chaos. We see a lot of the challenges that we face, and a lot of them are two things, two things that you mentioned. One is having faith and connection to a higher power, and I respect people's beliefs and religions and all that stuff. We don't have to get into that, but that's one thing that drives us, because we're soul people, and and, and that extends into, okay, what's the role of a man as a leader of his family that trickles out into the world so that we don't get, you know, like my son, say, scammed at every level, because we're getting scammed by all these different things, right? Somebody who's strong, who's healthy, who has the ability to think for themselves, right? Scamming, scamming somebody like that, and see what happens. You know what I mean?

Ben Greenfield 33:28

I want to kind of hear a little bit more about what people go through as they go through this, this four week conscious dad program. You kind of sent me the syllabus, so I had a little bit of a glance at it. But before that, I had one other question about your day. You know, a lot of guys have the the elephant in the room Dad Bod question, like, how they can stay fit as a dad, because, like a lot of my audience, they're coming out of the world of, you know, triathlon and Spartan racing and CrossFit and weightlifting, and they love to be fit, and they're afraid, you know, once they have kids, or as their kids start to grow, or even as they devote themselves more to their family in the ways that we're describing, they're gonna kind of lose their fitness and get winded, you know, climbing

John Schott 34:13

a flight of stairs. You know what? I understand that. I understand that. And everything, again, comes back to systems and being able to adapt to the situation and the season you're in. For example, I don't work out as much as I did five years ago, 10 years ago, in the in the in the way that I used to. I've adapted because, number one, I have more kids. Number two, I also have a lot of different elements in in my lifestyle that make it so that I prioritize other things, like my energy and also my the build up of or lack of build up of calcium and adhesions and all these different things. So I'm obviously, I have a bias, and I'm a big proponent of body work and all that stuff that goes up the. The rung for me, as far as workout goes, that's a non non negotiable for me, being the lacrosse ball and the softball and all these things, they are like tied, and that's one thing that I invite men and anybody to kind of incorporate into it, because it keeps you energized and it keeps you strong and all that. My situation is also a little bit different. I still work on people. I have a physical, physically demanding part of my life that makes it so that I can not get away with because I enjoy movement. I enjoy, you know, doing energetic things and body and, you know, and mobility drills and all this stuff you're like needing

Ben Greenfield 35:37

human dough all day I'm kneading

John Schott 35:38

human doll there, which, also plays into isometrics, right? Yeah, you know, I sometimes I got big guys or muscular people on the table. I'm like, You know what? I'm going to use this time just to get an isometric hold for myself. If, if it goes into it, you got a big hamstring and you're putting an elbow in there, or you're moving it while you're digging, you can hold your muscles while you're doing it. So I try to, like, like, incorporate that in there. But between that and mobility, those are the two things that I use to keep myself fit, and then it's energy conservation. Because if I'm driving all day and I'm taking these kids and I'm working on, let's say, five clients or six clients, which is kind of crazy to do, but I still do it, because I like to keep my hands involved in to what this fascia world is turning into. I I go and I find my balance. I'm like, today is not a good day to work out. Today is a good day for recovery, and more recovery than that. Today was a light day. Let's go. We can do a little bit harder than that. So you build systems based on the style, the lifestyle that you lead. I also play pickleball. Like I mentioned before, people think, oh, Pickleball is a joke. It's not a real sport. I don't know about that. Try it on.

Ben Greenfield 36:51

Best investments I made was converting a barn on our property into an indoor pickleball court, and we get lots of family time out there. And then, you know, I throw on their stacking ever since my sons were born, you know, go on a walk. They're on your back, and the walk is not just a walk. It's crawling, it's lunging. It's, you know, walking with them literally held overhead bike ride, like to the grocery store. We had a double bike trailer, and could take groceries back and kids back while cycling, I obviously have this walking treadmill in my office now. I got a hand grip strengthener in the car. We basically just look at life through the lens of, what if I couldn't go to the gym today, and then what are things that I can do to stay fit, especially with the kids, like we did so many hikes and fitness walks with them, and as a dad, I had to adopt Right? Like I'd have kettlebells in my backpack. I had a weighted vest. I did a lot of bear crawling, a lot of like pull ups with one of them on my back from tree branches, lots of wrestling, lots of lots of walking, but walking loaded. And if you start to just figure out ways throughout the day where you can get little movement snacks in, that really helps. Also, like, there's been super busy times in my life where, and this is just based on research, I have an Airdyne that's in the room next to my office, and I've had days that are just like 12 hour jams. There's no way I'm going to go to the gym for an hour before or after, because that's another hour away from family. So for every hour, I will literally just slip in and do a one to two minute all out sprint, and that's it. But by the time you've done 12 of those during the day, they add up. So I think it's just like accepting the fact that, yeah, maybe you're like, cushy, you know, 50 to 70 minute protected gym time isn't always going to be there, but you can still be pretty physically active throughout the entire day if you're creative about it.

John Schott 38:50

Yeah. And the other thing is food. I mean, I know you talk a lot about food on the show, but sometimes we can get a little complacent, especially when kids are snacking, and there's other things that you usually wouldn't eat because they're there. There's there's an element of setting yourself up so that, so that you don't necessarily participate in that your metabolism is not the same as your eight year old, nine year old, 13 year old's metabolism. They can get away with it, and we could get away with it at that age, but it shifts, so we have to learn how to shift with that as well.

Ben Greenfield 39:26

Yeah, I agree, and there are ample opportunities as kids grow to eat, like, 1000 extra calories once you're finishing extra plates. And then also kids, like, they're super active, they have high metabolisms, and sugar is something that I think is just around more, and the kids sometimes can be a little bit more metabolically protected against I'm not justifying like, having a bunch of sugar around your house, but you know, my sons will have stack of pancakes for breakfast. If I have a stack of pancakes for breakfast, I'm like hypoglycemic by 10am Am and kind of foggy in the workday. I just, I just know myself, but they like they're growing so fast, their metabolisms are so fast. I'm not gonna tell them, like, don't have pancakes for breakfast, but you have to check yourself when you walk past that sweet smelling stack of pancakes in the kitchen and just understand, hey, I'm not a little kid like my metabolism has changed and and you certainly don't want to tell your kids, hey, you just eat sugar when you're young. But there are metabolic differences with age that you have to be aware of as a father or a mother who's aging. So hey. So this, this program, the conscious dad, again, you texted me probably four weeks and as soon as I looked at it, I was like, Oh, dude, I got to get John on the podcast to talk about this. So walk me through what you've created.

John Schott 40:42

I'm trying. I'm trying to make it so that it's not like, like, like a typical, oh, this is, you know, you go through X amount of days and pillars and this and that. I'm trying to make it so that this system is something you can build for yourself. It's realistic and it sticks. I put it as a four week program with with just modules of the main things that I think move the needle for more most most men and most families. And it starts with week one, which is called the vital dad, and it's reclaiming your physical edge. It's a lot with what we've been talking about is setting up systems so that everything in your lifestyle optimizes your body and optimizes your physiology. So you set up systems about, you know, circadian rhythms, grounding some light, body work. We go deeper into that on what's called module three, or week three, which is build movement and recovery. I go deep into recovery. That's my specialty. That's one of the things that I think move the needle for a lot more people, but it's a four week program. It's not meant to be this, this way, and that's it. It's meant to be very flexible and based on context. I realized throughout the whole wellness experience that I've had throughout through so many years, that a lot of times context gets just get thrown away, and people think this is the formula you have to follow the formula. There's, you know, if, if you follow the formula the way exactly from A to Z, you're going to succeed. And it applies to everybody, and I and as you know, that doesn't, that doesn't necessarily work. There is no formula for everybody. There's, there's, there's a baseline, and there's a foundation. And that's basically what I'm presenting each week. Each week I'm presenting a piece of foundation that you can stack, like you said, into the lifestyle, into the lifestyle so weak. One is more about that Dad Bod, the vital dad. It's getting systems in place so that you it doesn't get away from you, and you're strong and you're able, and it's it's mostly physical, but you see that there's energetics and all that stuff incorporated into that. The second week is called family nutrition blueprint. So it's basically an ancestral type template, but set for the modern times. You know, there we live in a technology based society. It's not going to stop, and we need to be able to be fit or adapt to that. You know, fitness is not just about going to the gym. Fitness is about your environment, and your environment looks very different in different ways. So that end, like I mentioned before, setting up a food culture for your own family, where it's not just about the food, because putting healthy foods together, it's not that hard. Anybody can get can go to one of these Chachi BT things and create a meal plan for yourself based on gluten free.

Ben Greenfield 43:25

You can take a picture of the inside of your refrigerator and get a meal plan without even going shopping.

John Schott 43:30

Yeah, exactly. But the part that's missing there is the interaction with the food and your family. So I get kids involved in meal prep. I get I get them cooking with me, we get to sit at the table, talk about what's happening, what the day was, what are our wins, what were our lows, things like that. Setting up that kind of food culture is a way of nourishing yourself and nourishing your family at the same time. And I think that's a very important part that gets me missed by just eat healthy. Week Three is more getting into movement and recovery. Movement looks different to different people. I my template is things like move, Nat, functional fitness, things like that, anything that gets the body moving with the fascia and the original design of the of the human body, and also adapting to what you love to do. I'm not going to be here saying you don't do this because that's not functional. And you know, we have to adapt, and we have to be conscious about things like that. I'm not a personal trainer, but I am a body worker. I'm a human body mechanic, and I know how to like these relationships with the slings and the recall and all this stuff in the fascia works, and that's part of the thing that I would like to offer some of the members who want to participate in this. And then the last one, I think, is the most important part is like identity and presence, the man your family organizes around. It's we forget that we're probably the biggest leverage that our family has because how we feel, how. We show up, how we lead by example reflects all the way from your partner, your wife, to your kids and into society later on. And that awareness is gone. And I mean, it's extremely vital, and we start to rediscover that for ourselves, and we discover it together, and we start to set goals and things like that, and not in a like this is a chore kind of a thing. And like this is exciting. This is what means a lot to me, and I want to start implementing that naturally. We get this we have been getting through media this picture of men, through sitcoms, through movies, TV shows and stuff like that that have been bombarded into the psyche of us in general, but men as well as men being weak, men being

Ben Greenfield 45:45

silly, I know Homer, Simpson, Phil Dunphy, the yeah, there's so many others. Peter from the Family Guy, yeah, that's the stereotypical expectation, right? That matter, you're just toxic masculine, exactly.

John Schott 45:59

So there's those two extremes, right? And I'm like, No, there's way more than that. And there's way more ways that we can show up in a different, different state. And it all starts with awareness. And it all starts with this mindset. Presence leading the family unit is what I think can change the direction of where our society goes in general. So this is, this is what I'm presenting. I'm not presenting myself as a guru. I'm not presenting myself as I know better than anybody. I'm presenting myself with a lot of experience, a lot of passion and a lot of drive to actually truly help people, especially dads, because I am a dad in a mission to to make things better. It's not really that hard. So that's what it is, how many

Ben Greenfield 46:42

minutes per day? Because obviously, as we've already established, we're pretty busy.

John Schott 46:47

Honestly, I made it so that it's not something else on a checklist. It's not something that, oh my god, I gotta add this into my my mix here. It's another added stress. There is a weekly call that I set up that ideally I would like everybody to join. It's just one hour a week where everybody's present. We present something based on the week module. Let's just call it that, and everybody participates, and we start breaking everything down of what I'm presenting. But it's not so much meant to be a lecture. It's meant to be an open an open space for us to, like, discover things related to the topic. And if I can

Ben Greenfield 47:24

make the call based on my schedule, am I getting a recording?

John Schott 47:27

Yeah, absolutely. It's getting recorded part of the part of the reason I designed it this way as well. Like you have me in your corner, I'm trying to make this one of my top priorities, where I'm all in on this, I am 100% dedicated to it. So where, where something feels stressful to you, like, oh, man, I don't know how to do this in the kitchen, or I don't know how to incorporate my my kids and all this stuff. You have me, you know, you have access to me, going, Hey, how do we do this? And then going back to technology, guess what? There's AI systems that help you save time, whether it's with your business, whether it's with all kinds of things. You know, I've also been diving into AI big time, like I have some, some side businesses where I'm consulting, I'm consulting with, with with people to to get back. One of the things that is the most valuable things right time, and it's impressive what we can do with that stuff. Oh, it's huge.

Ben Greenfield 48:24

I mean, I know that AI seems like feeding through the fire hose right now. I have a 25 minute slot set per day where I have to start the timer and I'm not allowed to dick around. That's just pure AI learning and implementation time. 25 minutes doesn't sound like a lot, but that's a few hours a week. And I'm to the point now where at least every three days, I'm setting up a new workflow. I just finished morning and evening dispatch so private slacks channel where I don't have to check anything else or be distracted by anything else. 5:45am tells me any emails in my inbox, any project in Asana, any slack messages or threads that I need to check, not for me to dive into that stuff right away, but it allows me to know what's on my plate for the day. And then same thing 8:45pm same Slack channel, I get a debrief of everything that happened today. Any calls to action, any last minute things I need to take care of, fires need to put out at the end of the day. And so rather than me, like opening whatever, like four different programs, Asana, Slack, email, what else is on there? Oh, Google Calendar, it's basically doing that all for me. It took 15 minutes to set up, and then I'm using Claude to work for that. So, yeah, I mean things, things like that. Just for me, I do very, very well, whether I'm writing a book or learning something new, allotting certain number of minutes of protective, deep work to work on that, and then just basically consistency, like every day except, you know, usually Sundays, which is kind of my Sabbath. Yeah, I'm working. Through that stuff. So, so I'm just giving that as an example to people listening in. And then you're doing this as like cohorts, right? You're doing for four weeks with a certain number of guys, and then closing it and then opening it up again, and then

John Schott 50:12

after that, there'll be, I'm still figuring out a way where there's a there's a, I don't want to call it a subscription, but it's almost like a membership, or something along those lines, where they go through the four weeks, we set up systems, we do the whole program, you know, and and then there's still support after that. And that's, that's one of the things that I definitely want to put out there, because that support after that makes, I think, makes a big difference. This is, you know, in four weeks, you can do so much and again, you don't want it to be stressful. You don't want it to be like, shoot, I got four weeks to turn my life around. You know, it's not like that. It's not this is setting up the foundation, planting seeds and all that and and for me, I want to be available, you know, as much

Ben Greenfield 50:58

as possible. Well, it's giving people plenty of ammo. I am. I know we've got a cohort. I think you structured it so there's like a an opportunity for people who are listening in to join one of the upcoming cohorts after this podcast comes out. So the link I have for the show notes is https://bengreenfieldlife.com/dadprotocol. So I'll link to the dates that this opens up. If you're listening right now, in 2026 I think May is going to be coming up as the first cohort, right?

John Schott 51:29

I think yeah, May will be the first one.

Ben Greenfield 51:30

Yeah, yeah, okay. And if you're listening to this after may just go to https://bengreenfieldlife.com/dadprotocol, and you can see whatever dates might be coming up next. I'll also link to my previous podcast with John, which was super fun. And John, I got to connect with you the next time I'm I'm down in Florida, man, and get walked on.

John Schott 51:52

I would love to maybe we can get one of my kids to walk on you while I walk on you. That's double Let's go. Let's go.

Ben Greenfield 51:57

Four hands, four feet. Thanks for listening, John, thanks for doing this. Man, you're an inspiration. So you're doing a great job as father and as a husband. So keep up the great work.

John Schott 52:05

Man, I appreciate it, man, and thank you for having me to discover

Ben Greenfield 52:08

even more tips, tricks, hacks and content to become the most complete, boundless version of you. Visit ben greenfieldlife.com you

Ben Greenfield 52:24

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