Identity Inversion: Part 2

Last week, I shared with you the framework for a powerful exercise that will help you identify and “invert” your blind spots, weaknesses, temptations, and areas of shortcoming.

As a quick refresher, you:

1. Identify a conscious or unconscious identity pattern in a paragraph.
2. Name the redemptive opposite in a sentence.
3. Distill that sentence into a single word.

One of the best ways to learn is by example, and I'm hoping that revealing the results of my own identity inversion will inspire you and help you craft yours.

The following process took me about eight hours total. I realize that might seem like a big chunk of time. So here's something you should know:

It's important that each year you set aside 3 to 5 days for a personal retreat, which can be used for self-reflection exercises, nature immersion, prayer, meditation, catching up on all those important books you've wanted to read, etc.

So that the multi-day gap in the schedule doesn't catch anyone, like my coworkers or colleagues, by surprise, I schedule this time a year in advance, and usually do it at home so I can also catch up on dedicated, deep family time. Early December is a great time for this because it allows me to prepare my resolutions for the upcoming year.

Anyway, I spent two hours each morning for the first two days of my retreat identifying and journaling the tendencies in my personality and life that I wanted to address, then two hours each morning for the second two days of my retreat inverting those tendencies.

OK, here we go with my list, which wound up being ten items to invert (you will notice that I formed my initial paragraph using a question, which isn't necessary, but felt like the natural way to do it for me).

1. Why am I so attentive and seemingly hypersensitive to errors and lack of excellence in the workplace and in personal relationships, and so impatient and rude when those occur?

Turnaround sentence: I want to be more patient, forgiving, and kind.

Inversion: Kindness

2. Why am I not prioritizing connection to God with deep and constant prayer, even though I know I want to be in constant communication with God and go through life dependent on God's power, not my own power?

Turnaround sentence: I want to pray more.

Inversion: Prayer

3. Why do I often look at others who are more successful than I am, or who appear to have more money, better cars, nicer clothes, cooler houses, more fitness, or greater praise from the world as a sort of “social proof,” as though I'm discontent about all of the blessings God has already given me?

Turnaround sentence: I want to get rid of “grass is greener” thoughts in my life.

Inversion: Contentedness

4. Why do I feel confused and regretful about my relationship with my father, and somewhat emotionally dull about his passing, as though I'm disappointed in him or disappointed in our relationship?

Turnaround sentence: I want to honor my father, have peace about my relationship with him, and closure about his passing.

Inversion: Honor

5. Why do I get bored and antsy so quickly in social situations when I'm not in a position of leadership, responsibility, or the “center of attention,” and feel like I “check out” when I have to make small talk with people or sit around and hear other people's stories?

Turnaround sentence: I want to do a better job helping people feel seen, loved, and heard.

Inversion: Love

6. Why do I feel like I need to be in control of nearly every situation, including my own bodily functions and fitness, and often ruminate on seemingly small, trite tasks until they get done or get handed off to somebody to close the loop, often acting with a sense of OCD-like urgency if anything is not finished?

Turnaround sentence: I would like to be able to be OK with open loops and to relax, trust more, control less, and not feel like I need to be on top of everything.

Inversion: Trust

7. Why do I often ignore the subtle cues and nudges that God often gives me during the day, such as how to govern my speech, what I set before my eyes, or where I go and with whom?

Turnaround sentence: I want to be more like a disciplined soldier, obeying the commands of God, no matter what.

Inversion: Obedience

8. Why do I feel like every moment needs to be filled with something hyperproductive, spend a disproportionate amount of time trying to find a good deal, hoard things I don't need, and get so bothered when I see frivolous or unnecessary spending or what I perceive as waste?

Turnaround sentence: I want to have less of a spirit of scarcity.

Inversion: Abundance

9. Why do I often find myself attending to unimportant or non-urgent items with a sense of urgency, or checking boxes during the day just to feel productive, or spending time in the gym just for the sake of fulfilling a certain number of “junk minutes”?

Turnaround sentence: I want to be more intentional with how I spend my time.

Inversion: Intention

10. Why have I found myself, especially as I age, trying fewer and fewer new things because of fear of failure, public embarrassment, or injury?

Turnaround sentence: I want to embrace adventure without fear of failure.

Inversion: Courage

That's my list. I hope you're really getting the idea now of what to do.

Almost done here, but one more tip: although I'm not a huge fan of relying on GPT for self-improvement, out of curiosity, I fed the list above into GPT and asked it to give an unbiased, objective assessment of my inversions.

Despite what I considered to be a pretty basic prompt, the output was actually meaningful.

Here's a summary:

• Love anchors why I live.
• Prayer / Trust / Obedience anchor who I depend on.
• Intention / Courage anchor how I move.
• Contentedness / Abundance anchor how tightly I hold.
• Kindness / Honor anchor how I treat others.

As I review my intentions on a regular basis, the summary above actually helps me categorize them into how they reflect upon different aspects of my identity.

OK, so here's what to do once you have your list:

• Put it into a page of your journal so you frequently see it (you do have a journal you frequently open, right?)
• Add it as wallpaper to your phone (just make an image on your computer or phone and make that the lock screen background).
• For bonus points (see my photo), use a site like Amazon or Zazzle to turn it into a custom poster for your wall.

Finally, remember that this isn't about perfection. See my article about brokenness to learn more about why we are simply pursuing the best version of our broken selves. All of this is about self-work, growth, and becoming better equipped to love God and love others with the purpose we've been given in life.

Once you're finished with the exercise, in the spirit of accountability and vulnerability, feel free to share your list below in the comments section. I promise to read all of them!

I will send a free signed copy of my books Fit Soul and Endure to the first person who comments with your full identity inversion list. It can be anywhere from three to a dozen or more inversions. You pick, but remember not to chew off too big a bite at once.

Go!

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