August 23, 2013
Two months ago, I learned one single exercise that changed my life forever.
It isn't some fancy variation of push-up, squat or crunch.
It isn't a pretzel-shaped, one-legged, one-arm complex body weight move.
This exercise actually doesn't even involve one tiny ounce of working out, moving, or sweating.
But even though it is extremely simple, this exercise is absolutely going to blow your mind when you do it, because you're suddenly going to know exactly what it takes to get everything you want, including living longer, losing weight, having better sex, or making more money.
In just a moment, I'm going to give you the exercise.
But first, promise me one thing: promise me you won't rush this exercise.
Take your time, bookmark this page, print this post, block out all distractions, and do whatever else it takes devote quality, focused time to this exercise. It took me 2 hours to do this exercise well. And it was 2 of the most valuable hours of my entire life.
Deal?
OK, here we go.
Step 1) Get a pen and a piece of paper. Yes, those strange tools that ancient people used to write with prior to the advent of keyboards and smartphones.
Step 2) Answer the following question:
If there were no limitations or consequences, what would your average perfect day look like?
I'm serious.
Dream.
Don’t put any limitations on your answer.
Notice, I said average. This means when going through all of these other questions below that are a part of this question, each answer must be one you could live with for the rest of your life without getting bored or dissatisfied.
In other words, this average perfect day would be one in which you can wake up every single day and experience that day every single day for the rest of your life.
As you answer the average perfect day question, think about the following and as you write, ignite your every sense. Imagine what it feels, sounds, tastes, and looks like as you wake up in your bed wherever you are in the world on your average perfect day.
-Where would you live?
-What would your house look like?
-What would it smell like?
-What time in the morning would you wake up?
-What would you do in the morning?
-What would you think about in the morning?
-What would you have for breakfast?
-Where would you go for the first part of the day?
-What would you have for lunch?
-Who would you eat with?
-Who would your friends be?
-What kind of conversations would you have with your friends?
-What are your friends like?
-What would you do for personal fulfillment?
-What life purpose would you strive towards?
-What would your business be?
-What time would you start work?
-What would you do in your business each day?
-What are your clients like?
-What’s your relationship like with your spouse and your family?
-What would you do for family time?
-What would you eat for dinner?
-What would you talk about at dinner?
-What would you do at night?
-Who would you spend your time with?
-What would your thoughts be as you went to sleep?
Now you understand why this exercise should take you a little while to complete!
But think of this the same way as you would think about having a big fancy dinner party at your house and inviting the most important, loved and precious people you know. You wouldn't just fry an egg quickly and slap it on the table, would you? Of course not! You'd put thought, insight, care and passion into every detail.
Think about this exercise the same way. It's a process and labor of love, not a quick fry of an egg in a pan.
So go ahead: print this post and plan a day to the beach or the park or your favorite hiking spot where you can just sit for a few hours and write. Trust me. It will be worth it. You will learn things about yourself you never really realized, and you will spark an unstoppable, internal passion to achieve everything in life that you want.
But for you to manifest that perfect day, you must be able to touch, hear, smell, taste and feel it. Which is why you must do this exercise completely and in great detail if you want to get the most out of your life. It is the single most important exercise you will ever do…
Here go’s, What would I do if money were no object !………….My perfect day. To begin with I wouldn’t want every day to be the same i am 78 years old and i have been for verity in things you can have it in ! Pretty hard in relationships but no impossible.
I live in Illinois USA I would like to live out west where it is worm but mot hot,hot. A multilevel not two story house in the side of a hill. With a swimming pool & a hot tube with the jets on the end of the pool !!
I would get up about noon which I do mow. Have breakfast, lunch take my supplements go to the exercise room, ride an exercise bike for a couple miles I have a special way i ride it !! Do some other exercises.
I would work my DA business thinking about how to help more people achieve there perfect day and dreams.
Who would i eat dinner with, my wife who is not supportive of me in my DA business at the present.
After dinner I would go to the Casino to play some table games !!
Have supper then watch some things I would have recorded on the TV box like tractor pulls, drag racing, & football games witch I don’t get to now !! I would work on e-mails till around 12 mid night–
2AM. Then go to bed I wouldn’t try to think about anything just relax and go to sleep. End of day !!
My perfect average day starts with me rising naturally around 7-7:30am in my gorgeous 3 story beach compound on the Indian Ocean that I share with my husband and cat. After checking my social media/email on my phone while my husband sleeps peacefully at my side, I go up to the 3rd level that is my office loft with access to the rooftop terrace, turn on my MacBook Air and while it is booting up I do some yoga/tai chi/ meditating on the terrace looking at the ocean and the island of Zanzibar that we live on. I come in and I smell my husband is up cooking breakfast like he normally does. We have a fenced in chicken coop on the shaded side of the house, so I can smell eggs, bacon and homemade biscuits in the oven for the perfect breakfast sammie. He also makes me some grits because I love them :-) after breakfast together, since we both work from home, he goes to his office that’s on the main level, and I go up to mine and we work respectively. I am a project manager for an international humanitarian organization. 6 months out the year I am planning projects and the other 6 months I am implementing them with a team of local contractors/consultants I have hired. Today I don’t have to catch an uber to go out in the field for site visits/team meetings, so I get to have lunch in town with my other expat friends. My husband has errands to do so he drops me off at the beach hotel with the restaurant right on the sand and tells me to text him when I am ready to be picked up. I try to do lunch with my friends at least once a week. They are also professionals who work at home, but some are in tourism and work nearby. My husband comes in as we are almost done and he has a beer and nibbles on leftovers from my plate while joining in the convo. We head home and go back to work. I am checking emails and making phone calls and creating my project plan as I go. I am very productive today and if it wasn’t for the smell of my husband cooking dinner I would have kept working well past 6. I shut my computer down and take a shower because I just realized I didn’t shower yet lol. By the time I am dressed my husband has dinner ready and is pouring me a glass of wine. He picked up some fresh local lobster and King fish which he grilled and sautéed. He also made some rice and local green veggies. We sit at the table watching the ocean and talking about our next weekend getaway to perhaps Seychelles or Madagascar. We have a housekeeper so we just put the dishes in the sink and get on the comfy sectional couch in the family room to watch Netflix on our huge flat screen tv. I feel really tired so I say I’m going to bed before the tv episode is over. As I’m putting on my sleep shorts I think it’s weird I’m so tired and then it hits me that maybe I should take a pregnancy test before I go to the bathroom. I do and it is positive- our first child :-) I stay in the bathroom, locked in the toilet room whispering as I call my sister back in the states. She is so happy. I also call my best female friend back in the states because she is like a sister to me. By the time I am done my husband is in bed and checking social media on his phone. As I cuddle next to him thinking of a fun and creative way to tell him that he is going to be a dad, I am in complete bliss and gratitude thinking of how perfect my life is. As I drift off to sleep with a smile on my face, I think of how I am so happy to have a rewarding career that is also my soul path, a loving husband who is my best friend and the man I have always loved and loved truer than anyone else, in awe of the beautiful custom solar power home on the Indian Ocean we live in, and that I’m going to be birthing a beautiful being that is going to be one of many souls coming in that is going to change the world for the better :-) I am grateful, I am at peace,’I am home. Thank you ❤️
Hi Ben,your perfect day seems straight out of a fairytale. But I do have a life I wish to live. I want to wake up in the morning feeling happy and invigorated,full of life,I want my work to be satisfying which is not right now,I want to control my food habits which I am not able to,I want to be as fit and healthy as possible which I am not,I want to help people like me but first I want to help myself. I want to travel the world,experience different cultures. Want to give lot of experiences to my kid,make him strong but can I do all that,I don’t know…
That sounds doable to me ;)
This is more along the lines of Bruce Liptons ,Spontaneous evolution ,Very cool ,its a world tribe now
I came across a somewhat similar exercise 'back in the day' from an old grad school prof, Leland Kaiser. On the first day of our 2 year trek of full time grad school and concurrent full time careers, Prof Kaiser asked each of us to stand in front of the class and tell everyone a good deal about who we were. Then, we were to do our exercise and tell the class who we were in a parallel universe where no limitation of any kind were imposed, including the laws of physics, where we could be and do anything. The first few speakers were clumsy and then someone let go. In her parallel universe she revealed her dreams, passions, imagination, compassion. Everyone that followed did the same. It was a staggering and emotional exercise.
The exercise showed us that when limitations are removed our mind can picture perfection and in that perfection express much of what is truly important to us. The exercise visualized our value system and pinned it on our consciousness.
I wake up early in the morning when the sun is still in hiding but I’m all raring to go and get some serious pumping in the gym. I lay awake in bed and sit up, close my eyes and meditate for 15 minutes and when I finally open my eyes, I’m wide awake and I feel a sense of renewed energy in me. My head is clear and my eyes are bright.
Climbing out of bed, I brush my teeth and I look at myself in the mirror – I smile at myself and reaffirm that it’s going to be a great day ahead. Picking up my protein shake and pre-workout drink, I get out of the house and head to the gym.
After a good 20 mins cardio and a sweat-inducing hard circuit training of 45 mins, I shower and feel the rush of warm water cascading down, soothing the aches and pains I feel from the gym. Grabbing a quick subway sandwich bite, I’m off to work where everything goes smoothly – web channel sales strategy planning getting picked up by higher management and I can go ahead with execution. Lunchtime beckons and I unpacked my takeout subway sandwich, savouring every goodness from the greens and meat and bread. All these time my trance music softly playing in my ears as I plug into my MP3, tapping my feet away in rhythm.
Time passes by fast and I am off to another meeting where new plans get finalised and I get the green light to execute it during the next few days. On the way home, feeling inexplicably satisfied and happy from a productive day, I smile as I watch the people around me rushing somewhere else in the train platforms/bus stations.
I get home and cook myself my favourite aglio olio pasta with scallops and poached egg, settling in while catching up on my online courses and taking some time to write a little bit for my assignment, head is in focus mode and I’m inspired by the continuous revelations as I type along.
I clean up the dishes after saving my assignment and speak with some mates over Skype as their day just started in the Western timezone. We laughed and caught up, always a pleasure to be fascinated by the wonders of technology across the globe. We make some plans to travel together to a new place/country for adventure and will follow up again the next few days. Feeling excited about the impending trip and bidding good night and wishing them a great day ahead, I settle on the couch and close my eyes and meditate on the day again, feeling grateful for a smooth eventful and productive day with wonderful friends in my life.
Picking up my bedtime book, I read some pages before I decide to sleep. As I drift off, I feel tired but refreshed and smile knowing that I have no regrets for the day I have lived, and will continue to live, everyday till I find a great partner (and that will be another perfect average day for another time…).
Awesome! We gotta get you off the Subway sandwiches though Roy! http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1365424…
I like this game! Okay here goes…
I wake up at 6am. The hubby is still asleep. He’s not an early bird! I change into work out gear (Lorna Jane of course), head to the kitchen and prepare my Tianchi. I wander onto our balcony and enjoy the sights, sounds, and smells from the Indian Ocean. My energy noticeably starts to perk up as the herbs start to do their thing. I tear myself away from the view and head to our workout room. For the next 45 minutes, I work on my individual fitness. Today, I get my Insanity on. Tomorrow, pump class. Regardless, this is my hour to come alive.
Sweaty, breathless, and invigorated, I head to the kitchen to make breakfast – two eggs scrambled in coconut oil w/ a slice of toast with raw honey and grass-fed butter. Since its yesterday evening in the States, I use this 20 minutes to Skype with my mom. She catches me up on family affairs and tells me that my younger sister received an all-expenses paid internship opportunity in Beijing at a 5 star hotel. We gush with pride. I hang up and clean the kitchen.
As I head to shower and change, the hubby and I cross paths. We kiss good morning and, to my disgust and delight, he grabs me in a bear hug fully aware that I hate it when he gets too close when I’m all sweaty. I laugh and run away, wishing him a great day.
Showered and changed, I grab my coffee (ready to go courtesy of my pre-set and timed fancy espresso/cappuccino maker) and head out the door. My commute is short. I work at a place that allows me to thrive and utilize my exceptional organization, planning, and creative skills. It’s also for a company that produces a quality product or provides a quality service that I believe in. I feel productive and useful. Value-adding. And I work with people who feed on and ooze positive energy.
It’s lunchtime. I feel like fish and chips today. So I walk to a local chippie. This is West Australia. The portions are small and the food is fresh and there are no extra poisons floating around my meal. I find a quiet, shaded corner on a patio facing the marina. While enjoying my lunch and a re-read of a David Gemmell novel, I hear a splash. I look up and smile as dolphins frolic around the marina. Lunch is over.
I return to work for another couple of hours and leave at 3pm. I head home, change into something more comfortable, fix my afternoon cup of tea or coffee, and head to my writing room. Lots of windows, lots of light. It faces the West. I soak in the sun’s energy. Today, I’m reviewing editor’s notes for my soon-to-be-published first novel. It is both exciting and nerve wrecking.
At 5pm, I hear the hubby return home. I know that play date time is near, so I begin to wrap up. An hour later, I emerge from my space. It has cooled down significantly and the wind has picked up, so we decide on a sunset run. Maybe we’ll head to the tennis club tomorrow. We head out and enjoy a comfortably paced 10k loop around town. I chat about my day and he about his. We wave to other runners along the path. Most of them we recognize from the runners club. One of us remembers that we volunteered to bring a dish for the meet up after the upcoming Saturday morning long run. I look forward to AUD$3 gin and tonics… until the hubby reminds me that it will only be 10 am!
As we head back, one of our neighbors invites us over for a barbie. We agree and after a quick shower and change we head next door. We’ve brought over two bottles of Cape Mentelle Shiraz. They are pleased. They’ve lit the fire pit to keep us warm. After dinner, we huddle around the pit and talk and laugh, sipping magnificent wine. The sun is setting over the Indian Ocean and we are treated to another spectacular Bunbury sunset. Pinks, purples, and fuchsias. Someone exclaims that they’ve spotted a whale. We all turn to the direction to which they are pointing. Sure enough, a giant whale leaps from the water and we all squeal with glee. We conclude that the whale migration must be starting and look forward to more sightings.
We settle back down. Between the wine and the pit, I’m relatively warm despite the cold. But the hubby draws me close to snuggle against him anyway. It warms me up on the inside. And I smile.
I love this Amber. And I have learned a new word: Chippie.
Very well written. Sounds like paradise. But, you forgot the part where you thank the one would has provided all these gifts. The one thing that brings true fulfillment is to bring glory and honor to the one that created everything, Jehovah God. His name, when correctly translated from Hebrew to English in the causative imperfect form means, “He who causes to become,” meaning that he can become whatsoever he pleases so as to accomplish his purposes. No matter what his promises, he is an expert at fullfilling them. His goals are always successful. Give him top priority by thanking him and your goals will always be successful too. Much thanks for your advice and knowledge.
Word.
Thank you, Ben for the post and for the sharing of your ideal-average day. :) Inspiring!
Briefly, I say hello, take a fast cold shower, grab a snack, and then duck straight into the office. For the next two hours, I am in focus mode and I love to work when I am in this mode. I reply to e-mails, make phone calls and solve more problems for my clients. Everyone I talk to is highly motivated and values our discussion. They understand what they need to do and they need a roadmap. They are not trying to cut corners or find short term solutions. They want change and they value my advice, my teaching and my guidance. I provide them the roadmap, answer their questions and make their lives better. It is fulfilling. People get healthier, they get more fit, they accomplish amazing feats of physical performance, and they feel better about themselves, their bodies, their work and their relationships. Everyone is happy.
As I am finishing up work, the smell of dinner is already wafting into the house. It smells like fish. Perhaps some rice. Roasted vegetables from the garden. I go upstairs and the family is there waiting. We eat, we talk, we savor life and flavor and the fresh food we have grown.
And then, with bellies full of food and energy, we head out to play again. Tonight is tennis. We drive to the club. I am playing doubles with my friends, Jessa has a singles match, and the boys have tennis lessons from the club pro. We hit, laugh, smile, play, compete, move, sweat and finally pile back into the car to head home for showers and a final snack before bedtime. As we gather around the table to feast on our coconut chocolate ice cream, the fire is crackling in the living room.
After eating, we gather round the fire for a final bedtime story and song. I read the boys tales of knights, princesses, dragons, adventures, and wars. I play them the new song I'm learning on the guitar, and they smile as their eyes begin to roll over with sleepiness.
Jessa and I tuck them into bed. We make love. We fall asleep in a warm embrace.
I am still smiling.
This is awesome.
Truly inspirational and I look forward to taking some time out for myself and describing my perfect average day. I am at a stage in my life where I really feel this will benefit me. It is time for a change and also a time to take a risk to ensure I have the life I forsee for myself in the future. Thanks Ben.
My Perfect Average Day (split into two comments)
I slowly wake to the wafting aroma of fresh pine and the sounds of bird stirring in through the open window in our small mountain home. The sun has risen, but it's early, and the house is quiet.
For several minutes I just lay there. I can hear my wife breathing. She is sound asleep.
I am smiling.
My energy is high when I wake in the morning and I know to take advantage of it. So I'm up. I wander downstairs and heat up the water for a dark, flavorful cup of black coffee. As I sip my coffee, I open my Kindle and soak in the day's knowledge – reviewing research journals, articles, news and all the information that can help me make a difference in the world. An hour flies by as I simply sit, sip and read. The house is still quiet. Nobody has stirred. I own the silence.
After a brief stop in the bathroom, I head outside to our back patio, where I gaze at the sun, stretch, and breathe. I let the earth wake me even more and feel it's energy pulsing into my bare feet.
When I go back inside, the smell of eggs picked from the backyard chicken coop and bacon from the local market is already drifting through the house, and I hear the murmur of morning voices. My wife is hovering over the stove. Nuzzles, kisses, hugs. My kids are gathered in the living room, their hair tussled and their eyes wide with morning sleepiness. More snuggles, tousling, smiles. I read them a book as mom plates their food.
As the kids and Jessa eat their breakfast, I join them at the kitchen table and begin to surf through my morning emails. I am not hungry. I never am until several hours after waking, and when I do it, I like my solitude. But I'm there. Listening, enjoying their laughter, their conversation, their excitement about the day.
After breakfast, the family leaves. They're off to field trips, adventures, errands, haircuts, friends, and everything else they wander around and do in the morning.
I finally eat breakfast, and then begin to write. My head is clear in the morning and writing comes easier. I share with the world my solutions to their problems.
What problems? The same problems I face.
See, I love getting fit, feeling good about the way my body looks, and fulfilling my deep-seeded drive to live life to the fullest by achieving difficult feats of physical performance. But I was fed up with feeling like crap from all the extreme exercising, strange foods, feeling of constant stress and soreness, and worry about the toll my hectic lifestyle was taking on my body. So I have created a way of training, eating and living that is perfectly healthy and natural, but still allows me to look, feel and perform at my peak capabilities.
And I share that with as many people as possible.
By noon, I am done writing – just in time to hear the car pulling into the driveway. Voices, dogs barking, and kids excitedly shouting about the morning's activities are all signs that life is about to erupt with family time.
For the next couple hours, Jessa and I school my kids. We read. We learn math. We discover new countries. We go outside and explore the forest. We make storage science projects. We cook something new and exciting for lunch.
In those two hours there is no e-mail, no writing, no telephone calls, no Twitter, no Facebook. No fleeting thought of work or deadlines. Just me and my wife and my children bonding and discovering life.
Then we all curl up in Mom and Dad's bedroom for our afternoon siesta. We sleep with smiles on our faces – and as we slumber, we hardwire all the neural circuitry we just built with our afternoon of education.
When we wake, my body is stirring once again. Everyone is still sleeping, but I am ready to go. It is time for battle, for adventure, for play. I hop on my mountain bike and take the back trail down to the river, with my goggles slung around my neck. I ride hard and swim hard. When I get home, I'm still aching for movement, which my body thrives on. So I grab the axe and head out to the back patio to chop wood. Sweat pours off my body as I work, putting aside valuable fuel for the winter. It is fulfilling. I smile. It doesn't feel like exercise. Just play. Making life happen.
Everyone is awake when I go back inside. Jessa is heading out to the garden. The boys are playing table tennis.