December 26, 2020
My two guests on today's show flew to my home in Spokane to train me and my wife Jessa in some very special forms of breathwork training that they specialize in, particularly for couples and tantric sex, but also for trauma, emotional release and much more.
You may remember them if you read the recent article on my blog “Tantric Sex & Beyond: How To Rejuvenate Your Relationship By Improving Communication, Navigating Conflict, Creating Intimacy & Having Mind-Blowing Sex.”
Stefanos Sifandos describes himself as a relational alchemist, international speaker, and author who facilitates transformational growth through neuro-empowerment practices, an integration of spiritual praxis, and western psychology to improve, evolve, and enhance the quality of relationships. By integrating the best of Eastern and Western methodologies and philosophies, and using integrative techniques methods, Stefanos has created programs and systems to enhance the quality of your life, your relationship, and, in essence, bring them closer to their potential.
Christine Hassler is a best-selling author, keynote speaker, master coach, and podcast host who is committed to guiding people and organizations into their highest potential. She left her successful job as a Hollywood agent at 25 to pursue a life she could be passionate about, but it did not come easily. After being inspired by her own unexpected challenges and experiences, she realized her journey was indeed her destination. Her thirst for personal development continued as she dived into self-help books, attended seminars and retreats, got trained in neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), and eventually pursued her master’s degree in spiritual psychology with an emphasis in consciousness, health, and healing from the University of Santa Monica. As a student (and eventually, faculty member), Christine found that the principles she learned at the USM were foundational to her life and work. In 2005, she wrote her first book 20 Something 20 Everything, and then the 20 Something Manifesto in 2008. Her latest best-selling book, Expectation Hangover: Free Yourself from Your Past, Change Your Present and Get What You Really Want, is the guidebook for how to treat disappointment on the emotional, mental, behavioral, and spiritual levels.
The breathwork course we discuss in detail in the show is their Breathwork and Meditation Series (use code BEN to save $30).
During this discussion, you'll discover:
-What a “relational alchemist” is…08:15
- Moving from an undesirable place in a relationship to what you love
- What's not giving us clarity is a sense of unresolved pain, trauma, fear
- First build safety, rapport, trust between Stefanos and his clients
-The role of breathwork in Stefanos' practice…10:15
- Recommended by a friend during a turbulent personal time
- Similar to Holotropic breathwork
- Transcended analytical elements of the mind
- Breathwork complemented psychedelics Stefanos had used
- Magic Chocolate, Holotropic Breathwork, Grounding, Earthing, Vortexes, Crystals & More With Shamangelic Healer Anahata Ananda.
- SOMA Breathwork protocol
- Breathwork allows the user more control than things like psychedelics
- Stanislav Grof
- Not as much “rebuilding” is needed as is the case with psychedelics
-How Christine became a life coach…15:55
- Began life coaching in 2004
- Blend coaching with psychology
- Identify the emotional root cause of an issue
- “I've been my own best client”
- Left successful career in Hollywood
- Masked insecurity by being an overachiever
- Wrote first book 20 Something 20 Everything shortly after becoming a life coach
- Grain Brain by David Perlmutter
- Labels create limitations
-How Christine and Stefanos met…23:00
- Both were tired of uncommitted relationships prior to meeting
- Nice to have the emotional intimacy prior to meeting physically
- Article: The 36 Questions That Lead to Love
-The protocols Stefanos and Christine did with Ben and Jessa this past August…31:45
- A few of the questions:
- “When I look at you, I see…”
- “When you look at me, I think you see…” (perception checking)
- “When you look at me, I want you to see…” (how we want to be perceived)
- “When I feel most angry, sad, etc.”
- Get the intimacy back in the relationship before talking about issues
- Create safety so the other feels “seen”
- Empathy through stillness
-The science behind breathwork that connects couples…38:00
- Voluntary hyperventilation (alters brain chemistry)
- Shared experience, sensory overload, brings about camaraderie together
- Breathing does not alter the oxygenation of the blood
- Regulating CO2, the main driver of respiration
- Voluntary hyperventilation blow down CO2 levels
- Respiratory alkalosis
- Enter a non-ordinary state of consciousness
- Access unconscious parts of the self you can't ordinarily access via breath technique
- Unconscious memories that precede the relationship come to the forefront
-How the body resists anticipated change from breathwork or therapy…47:15
- The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van der Kolk
- Ben became very sick during Stefanos' and Christine's visit
- We store experiences in the body; pattern-recognizing machine
- Resistance vs. releasing
-Enhancing lovemaking with the tantric approach…52:05
- Recapture the Rapture: Biohacking Sex, Tantric Breathwork, Plant Medicines For Orgasmic Enhancement & Much More! With Jamie Wheal
- The Multiorgasmic Male by Mantak Chia
- Tantra – Sex, Secrecy, Politics and Power in the Study of Religion by Hugh Urban
- Tantra is far more than a sexual position
- Synchronizing intention accessed via breath
- Busyness creates a barrier to intimacy
- Intentional practice of connection keeps a family together
- Energetic connection leads to sex on a multi-dimensional level, beyond physical and emotional
- Infidelity comes from boredom in a relationship (same-sex marriage)
- Kundalini is at the root of tantra, begins in the sacrum (in the pelvis)
- Stefanos and Christine's Breathwork and Meditation Series (use code BEN to save $30)
-How Christine got off antidepressants…1:03:00
- Diet: No gluten, alcohol, sugar
- Depression is oftentimes suppression and repression
- Emotional release work vs. catharsis
- Temper tantrum: Children self-soothe if you let them alone
- Intuition was muted while on anti-depressants (her biggest asset as a life coach)
- Not wise to quit meds cold turkey
- Article: Dark Side of Antidepressants by Chris Kresser
- Christine's podcast on the Joe Rogan show
- Anxiety, anger, etc. are the body's alarm system (which we can miss with medication)
- Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers by Robert Sapolsky
- Primal sounding (screaming, guttural sounds)
-Rules for getting to the other side of arguments and disagreements…1:14:45
-And much more!
Click here for the full written transcript of this podcast episode.
Resources from this episode:
-Stefanos' and Christine's Breathwork and Meditation Series (use code BEN to save $30).
-Stefanos' and Christine's Sacred Union.
- Stefanos Sifandos
- Christine Hassler
- Christine's podcast Over It and On With It
- Books:
- Christine on the Joe Rogan show
– Podcasts:
- Magic Chocolate, Holotropic Breathwork, Grounding, Earthing, Vortexes, Crystals & More With Shamangelic Healer Anahata Ananda.
- Recapture the Rapture: Biohacking Sex, Tantric Breathwork, Plant Medicines For Orgasmic Enhancement & Much More! With Jamie Wheal
– Books and articles:
- Grain Brain by David Perlmutter
- The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van der Kolk
- Tantra – Sex, Secrecy, Politics and Power in the Study of Religion by Hugh Urban
- The Multiorgasmic Male by Mantak Chia
- Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers by Robert Sapolsky
- Is Gluten Killing Your Brain? by Chris Kresser
- The 36 Questions That Lead to Love
- Negative Effects of Antidepressants: Is There a Dark Side? by Chris Kresser
– Other resources:
Episode sponsors:
–Fit Soul: Get Ben Greenfield's newest book for FREE. Fit Soul is filled with practical, easy-to-understand tips, tricks, strategies, and solutions to care for your soul, attain true spiritual fitness, and find the happiness you have always craved and deserve.
–Ben Greenfield Coaching Program: Personally mentored and trained team to coach you on everything from sleep, gut health, performance, weight loss, etc. They do customized nutrition and fitness plans, all-inclusive VIP coaching, consult calls, etc. All at bengreenfieldcoaching.com.
-The Kion Fasting Challenge: The Challenge starts January 6th, it's completely FREE to join, and when you do you'll get a bunch of exclusive content including access to a Q&A by yours truly answering all your burning fasting questions. To join just go to getkion.com/fasting-ben.
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I thought I heard in there somewhere that Christine had a free meditation available? Didn’t see a link. Perhaps, I misinterpreted what I heard.
It’s a shame that you’re wasting time on topics such as these when you’ve failed to elucidate the arguments/research for and against the COVID vaccine. Not to say that you should take a position, but in your silence you insinuate endorsement of this as some miracle biohack from the government. Again, you don’t have to take a position..
Why does the fitness guy need to comment on a no win divisive thing like that. He is not a doctor, he talks about how to be a better man, how to be a better father, how to be a better Christian, and how to be in optimal health. He does not need to tell the sheep how they should feel about a vaccine that will only make it harder to get the information out that matters and is helpful to the most people. Focus on your health in all aspects and the vaccine will not be a major impact one way or the other for you. Should sign up for the Kion fasting challenge and fast from social media and the news so you will stop being controlled by the algorithms and will focus on the things that actually can make an impact.
One of the best content piece in days! Thank you so much.
I love how when you are in a disagreement Christine fists you Stephano and you plow her at least that is how you should tell everyone from now on! Is great to see the playfulness and working together. Would have been awesome to have Jessa in on the convo too but judging by the comments from the last one I can see why that I did not happen. Also on the last one you misquoted the Jordan Peterson rule it is about not letting your children do anything that makes you not like them not the other way around. Would not have said anything but in Fit Soul you kind of ask to be politely corrected… or maybe I am misquoting you. Love the show and don’t listen to the haters y’all have life figured out.
Ben,
I’m 55, 6’4″, and 186 lbs. In good shape. I’ve never had a colonoscopy, and haven’t had a physical in years. Have some history of heart disease in the family. What blood work/tests should I get done to get an assessment of my current health profile? Considering the echocardiogram as well.
Love your content!