February 16, 2023
Angi’s husband, Arlynd Fletcher, is a functional movement and biomechanics specialist. After watching his mother suffer from back injuries throughout his childhood, Arlynd developed a drive to understand how the body works and what causes dysfunction. He has worked with many experts in the field in his research and has been called a modern-day “body whisperer.”
Angi and Arlynd’s website is devoted to sharing their multi-therapeutic approach to wellness shaped by personal experiences and years of research. This approach includes mindset shifts, physical tools, income opportunities, nutrition tips, and more. Angi and Arlynd live in Texas with their three children.
During our discussion, you'll discover:
-Angi's upbringing and experience with grief at a young age…6:52
- Her father died when she was 11
- Her mother gave Angela a tablespoon of cod liver oil each morning
- She had terrible premenstrual cramps and had to miss school regularly
- Hypoglycemic and nutrient-depleted
- Unprocessed grief resulted in physical symptoms
- Became a model at age 18 and married at 19
- Became a mom at 24
- Had no clue about nutrition
- Ate a tub of Ben and Jerry's Chubby Hubby every night during pregnancy
- Suffered from post-partum depletion
- Had no idea about nutrition
- Starved herself to stay model-sized
- Would eat half an apple dipped in Nutella a day
- Alternated starvation with binge eating
- Didn't have the tools or resources to stay healthy
- Starved herself to stay model-sized
-How Angi almost died on the bathroom floor in her tiny apartment in Los Angeles…12:55
- Started using substances to cope with her divorce and co-parenting
- Ended up calling 911, naked and covered in her own feces
- Needed to be resuscitated in the hospital
- This experience became a foundational pillar that helped Angela make changes to her lifestyle
- Quit smoking and using substances
-Angi's journey to becoming a competitive triathlete…16:25
- Triathlon saved her life and was her reason for quitting smoking
- Fell in love with fellow model and triathlon coach, Arlynd Fletcher
- They run their company together: Angi and Arlynd
- They have two children together
- Overcame her fear of water and learned to swim
- Competed in the World Triathlon Championships in China
- Came in sixth place on the bike
-The traditions Angi created as a single mom raising her first-born son, Oliver…22:30
- Parenting isn't one-size-fits-all
- The book Boundless covers a full spectrum of parents
- Even though Angi had to shop at the dollar store, she made everyday things feel special for her son
- Friday night bike rides to Blockbuster to rent a movie
- “Sleepovers” on the living room floor
- Even though this was a dark time for Angi, Oliver remembered this as a special time
- Simple things became important traditions
-How Ben turned things around for his sons when they weren't able to go on their family vacation…27:17
- Flew all the way to Costa Rica and had to turn around and go home due to an error in the system
- Made the week special
- Board games and card games
- Escape rooms
- Breathwork in the sauna
- Watched movies at night
- Ate out
- Went hiking
-How travel expands the mind in both children and adults…30:00
- Study a country's food, language before going on a vacation
- The importance of learning other languages
- Cooking regional foods
- The balance between travel and learning within your local community
- The dark side of hypermobility
- The importance of doing what you can in the season you're in
- Be intentional
-How Angi's younger children are homeschooled…38:20
- Her kids are outside all the time and are learning how to chop wood and use tools
- Plans to teach both children how to ferment foods and hunt
- Nature schooling and world schooling
- Her children will have more structured education when they get older
- They don't live completely off-grid; still part of society
- Now they learn by being outside in nature
-The way Ben and Jessa set up the education perimeters for their sons' learning and unschooling…42.44
- Quarterly blocks and semesters
- Meetings with kids and education coordinator
- Well-documented records of everything they learned
- Programmed one-hour blocks of traditional learning
- Everything else is unstructured learning based on their interests
- Books recommended by the parents to the kids
- The Creative Act: A Way of Being by Rick Rubin
- Expressing yourself in authentic art
- Ben will discuss a book a month with his sons
- His sons will write a book report
- The Creative Act: A Way of Being by Rick Rubin
- Dennis Prager
- Education is a balance between what the world expects them to know, their own passions and desires, and what the parents see as a good fit for them to learn
- Ben and Jessa's expectations for their sons to embrace entrepreneurship
-Angi's gratitude for the ability to thrive in her online career…50:00
- Her mom's advice to Angi and her sister to get a career and not be reliant on their husbands
- Modeling wasn't a secure career
- Even though her sister chose a traditional career, she lost her job
- Angi is now thriving in her non-traditional career
- Skills and mindset are important concepts to pass on to children
-Ben's family's mission statement…51:40
- By the age of 16, a Greenfield child must be financially independent
- Monetize their passions to help pay the family bills, pay for college, etc.
- The quote: “Love what you do and work becomes play”
-What a typical day looks like for Angi and Arlynd, and how they balance work and self-care…55:33
- Everything for Angi is seasonal and cyclical
- Flexible schedule based on her menstrual cycle
- Every day is different depending on where she is in her cycle
- No hard rules around cold plunging after almost dying by staying in too long
- Her children are her priority now, so she plans her day around their needs
- Oura ring
- Cold plunge
- Sauna
-The epic activities Ben does with his sons and the importance of including them…60:25
- Epic trips and planned activities
- Free diving and spearfishing
- Navy Seal training
- Hunting trips
- Podcast with Ted Harty:
- Podcast with Mark Divine:
- Podcast with Marc Warnke:
- Including your family in your training and lifestyle routines
- Apogee
-How Angi prioritizes the things that bring her joy so she is able to be her best self for her children…64:05
- The importance of taking care of ourselves as parents
- Children understand on some level the importance of this
- We are better parents when we take care of ourselves
-Angi's messages in Boundless Parenting…66:00
- Boundless Parenting
- We need to give ourselves more grace as parents
- Do what you can in the season you're in
- Grow your tools while giving yourself grace along the way
- Don't compare yourself
- Avoid burnout
- How you live your days is how you live your life
- Do what you can in the season you're in
- Her article: Fifty-one different things that are part of your wellness routine
-And much more…
Upcoming Events:
- Six Senses Retreat: February 27, 2023 – March 3, 2023
Join me for my “Boundless Retreat” at Six Senses from February 27th, 2023 to March 3rd, 2023, where you get to improve on your functional fitness, nutrition, longevity, and the delicate balance between productivity and wellness. Complete with a healthy farmhouse breakfast, yoga spa sessions, and sound healing, you learn how to live a boundless life just like me, and I'd love to see you there. Learn more here.
- Shine Event / VIP Dinner: March 10th – March 12th
I want to personally invite you to an intimate VIP dinner experience with my family and I in beautiful Sedona, Arizona. I'll be in AZ during that time presenting as a keynote speaker at the Breath, Body & Beyond ‘Shine' event from March 10th to the 12th, and I'd love to see you there for my formal dinner on the 11th. At this dinner, you'll be presented with an exquisite home-style dinner personally prepared by the entire Greenfield family, a free signed copy of Boundless Cookbook, a personalized Q&A with me, and entertainment by local vocal artist and my younger sister, Aengel Greenfield. Learn more here.
- Keep up on Ben's LIVE appearances by following bengreenfieldfitness.com/calendar!
32 Questions For Boundless Parenting
The following questions were posed to Angi and Arlynd Fletcher, and the rest of the wise parents interviewed for my upcoming book, Boundless Parenting.
- How many children do you have, how old are they, what is their profession or passion, and why, in particular, are you proud of them?
- Are there any elements of your parenting approach that you would consider to be particularly unique?
- What books, systems, models, or resources do you rely heavily upon or consider to be indispensable in your own parenting?
- What traditions, habits, routines, or rituals are most important, memorable, or formative for your family?
- What rites of passage or significant moments of maturation to adolescence or adulthood have your children experienced, if any?
- Who do you look up to as parenting mentors?
- What have you taught your children about raising their own children?
- Do you have any philosophies or strategies for educating your children outside of traditional school, such as homeschooling, unschooling, self-directed education, or other alternatives, creative, or “outside-the-box” forms of education?
- What has been your proudest moment as a parent, and why?
- What do you wish you had known before first becoming a parent?
- Have you ever experienced imposter syndrome as a parent? If so, how have you coped with that?
- How have you achieved a balance between mentoring and passing on wisdom without “living vicariously” through your children?
- Have you ever faced any big parenting decisions that kept you awake at night worrying or that you feared you would mess up?
- What do you regret, if anything, from your experience as a parent?
- What is the biggest mistake you have made as a parent?
- What, if anything, from your parenting experience would you go back and change or improve?
- If you had multiple children, what did you think was right at the time with one child that you then went back and changed with the next child or future children?
- Have you ever sensed or feared that your children would grow up too different or weird as a result of any “outside-the-box” parenting approaches you used? If so, how did you deal with that?
- Have you ever differed from your spouse on parenting principles, techniques, or approaches? If so, how did you manage that?
- Warning: This question is long but important: As a parent, have you ever felt conflicted about wanting to share a book, teaching, resource, or method with your children as a means of impacting their future success, but feared that it might “overload” them, especially at their age? If so, how did you balance bestowing this valuable knowledge to your child without causing them to worry too much about adult concerns? How did you decide when to just “let a kid be a kid” versus nudging them towards responsible adulthood and the attainment of valuable wisdom?
- How have you balanced being a present, engaged parent while preserving your own identity, taking time for your own self-care, tending to your career, or pursuing other interests that did not include your children?
- How have you engaged in one-on-one time or created space for dedicated time with your child, especially if you have more than one child?
- If your children have grown up and moved out of your house, what strategies have you found most helpful for maintaining and building your relationship with them?
- If your children have grown up and moved out of your house, do you often miss them, fear for them, or think of them? If so, how have you coped with any loneliness or desire for their presence?
- Do you have non-negotiable rules for your children?
- How have you disciplined your children, if at all?
- How have you helped your child to establish responsibly, moderated, or conscientious consumption or use of books, media, entertainment, screen time, and social media? This is not my favorite question because the focus on “limiting screen time” seems a bit blown out of proportion these days and I think causes kids to get obsessed with the “forbidden fruit” of screen time, but it seems to be on the minds of many parents today, so I’d be remiss not to include it.
- Have you emphasized or encouraged any health, fitness, or healthy eating principles with your children? If so, what has seemed to work well?
- If your child or children could inscribe anything on your gravestone, what would you hope that they would write? What would you most want them to remember about you?
- What do you most want to be remembered for as a parent?
- What do you think your child or children would say is their fondest memory of being raised by you?
- What message for parents would you put on a billboard?
Click here for the full written transcript of this podcast episode.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
– Angi Fletcher:
– Podcasts And Articles:
- The Ultimate Guide To Freediving, Legal Blood Doping, Wim Hof Breathing, Increasing Your Breathhold Time, Underwater Ear Equalizing, Spearfishing & Much More!
- Potent Breathwork Tactics From A Navy SEAL Commander, Staring Down Your Wolf, Operating Calmly Under Stress & More With Mark Divine.
- How To Get Into Hunting, Build Hunting Fitness, The Most Challenging Hunts & More!
- How To Blast You (And Your Child’s!) Physical, Mental, & Spiritual Resilience Through The Roof With Breathwork.
- Ben Greenfield’s Favorite Workouts, Building a Generational Legacy, Biohacking On a Budget, & Much More: Part 2 of Ben’s Talk at the Health Optimisation Summit.
– Books:
- The Creative Act: A Way of Being by Rick Rubin
- Boundless by Ben Greenfield
- Boundless Parenting by Ben Greenfield
– Other Resources:
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Shine Sedona: Join my family and me in Sedona Arizona from March 10-12, 2023 at an amazing event hosted by SHINE. I'll be giving a keynote talk on breathwork and biohacking, and hosting a VIP Greenfield-style home-cooked dinner prepared by my family. For tickets to the Shine Event where I'll be a keynote speaker visit bengreenfieldlife.com/shinesedona. To book your spot for our VIP dinner visit bengreenfieldspeaking.com/sedona-dinner.
Boundless Parenting: Everything you need to know about family, parenting, and raising healthy, resilient, free-thinking, and impactful children. Go to boundlessparentingbook.com and pre-order your copy now.
Six Senses Event: Join me in this beautiful 19th-century wine estate in Portugal and enjoy treatments that go beyond the ordinary in Six Senses Spa. Ten treatment rooms and an indoor pool with chromotherapy and an underwater sound system offer a unique and layered wellness experience. Try delicious food made with local sensitivity and global sensibility. Head over to bengreenfieldlife.com/sixsenses and claim your spot today.
Do you have questions, thoughts, or feedback for Angela Fletcher, or me? Leave your comments below, and one of us will reply!
The best way to handle a covert narcissist is to deprive them of the reaction that they enjoy so much.